Nothing so pure.....

Fri, 07 Nov 2003 04:55:36 GMT

having something new..does nothing to the old...

Wed, 29 Oct 2003 06:33:40 GMT

so yeah..newness is me. new name =

prettyinpanda

make the proper adjustments..

that is all

never exhale

Mon, 27 Oct 2003 15:12:34 GMT

I was so going to attempt and update today, but then a lot of the things i'd thought about mentioning really didn't seem at all that important.

Since Thursday not a whole lot has gone on. My day off was pleasant, though not much was accomplished or done, except being lazy.

Friday i worked till 11, then went to a friends where i started feeling a little unwelcome. This is the first time this has ever happened, but, i think things will be alright. Drew drank a little too much alcohol. we left early.

Saturday i slept, went to his house, slept, and then went to work. In between the sleeping we ate, and went to the bookstore.

The rest of the weekend i either slept, or worked. Usually thats what my weekends consist of. haha. I do love to sleep. This weekend i took off Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. In turn i must work every day until those glorious days of none work. UMPH. thats the suck.

Im super sleep, to the max, i hope i hope i fit a nap in today. YES!

Im letting my hair grow out and its being very stubborn and slow. The day i get back to some pig tails, is the day im a happy camper.

Oh, yeah...a certain someone came and had a chat with me, about how she didn't want me to hate her, and how she didn't think i should have a problem with her talking to drew. yadda yadda. Okay, first off, she's his ex-girlfriend. And i never said she couldn't talk to him, or even be friends with him for that matter. All i asked of the moron was that she didn't write him little letters, hug him like he's family, or fucking follow him out to his vehicle. Its really not that awful of a request. She even tried to pull some bullshit wool over my eyes and make me suspect someone in some other way..and blah blah..she's a liar, and a moron. She brought someone with her to talk to me also, FIGURES! ah. HATE.

Fri, 24 Oct 2003 20:21:48 GMT

hand holding - you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don't
want to take things too quickly.

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

yeah..

Wed, 22 Oct 2003 18:59:40 GMT

Im so about to take a nap..yes, naptime equal the best time.

just updating to say that a not nice girl hit me today, and got angry because it was her fault. WHOAH. not really exciting just a waste of time, and cops aren't that smart here either. So yeah, accidents aren't fun.

Wed, 22 Oct 2003 15:15:52 GMT

*sigh*

*double sigh*

*smile*

*double smile*

*giggle*

Okay okay enough..this website is definately something else..mhm

formulating denials...

Wed, 22 Oct 2003 13:47:54 GMT

So, my days is going by oh so perfectly. Its only 8:30 and im already out of first class. I had a test, and i totally rocked it with a 50 point discussion question on depression, how it can lead to suicide, and how things like that are caused. Yeah, totally rocked it.

Then, my teacher tells me..the test she moved to today, from last class. I don't have to take it if i don't want because she just wouldn't want to make me take 2 tests in one day..no no no. Therefore, i get to take it next time, or after class one day. UMPH, so great since i still am yet to study.

Then, i find out, that my last class, the one im suppose to be having a test in today isn't meeting, meaning, no test, and that gives me the weekend to study for both of the above tests. YES!

Then, i find out, they are having fall fest at 11:30. Meaning what? Oh, just meaning that thats when class will let out, and seeing as that class starts at freakin 10:50, that equals half as much lecture, and half as much bore. HOORAY!

All in all its another unusually simple, and now quite short day at school.

I do have to work tonight, but it really couldn't get worse than it was last night. Im telling you..people know when you are in a good mood, and its like a game to ruin it for you. The first hour i was there, every single customer was rude in one way or another..and thats not an overdramitization.

Tomorrow is the day off, tomorrow = heaven.

I hope this weekend doesn't get ruined like i have a feeling it will. Its such an annoyance how Drew's parents seem to think he's so not close to being grown..yet..he deserves enough to take on a lot of their responsibility. They should know by now, Saturday = long day for us. Meaning the day we actually get to spend a good portion of the day together. See nights off equal only nights since we both have school. And Saturday i don't work till 10 p.m. so we get up early to be together, or stay the night friday, and sleep half the day together, and still stay together till i go to work. BUT, it seems they had a child specifically for the purpose of teaching Drew things can't always go his way or some bullshit, so now, he may just have to be home and watch him from 8 a.m. till 3 p.m.

Yes, that was a rant, and reading it probably didn't do anything for any of you. hah

I found some money in the pants i am wearing today, i love it so much when that happens. Plus, they are size 7's, and thats so perfect to me. *giggles*

Mon, 20 Oct 2003 22:27:40 GMT

Song that makes you happy:	The Left Rights- qy10
Song that makes you want to cry:	A Perfect Circle- 3 Libras
Song that makes you feel dreamy:	Thursday- i1100
Song that makes you sleepy:	Anything by Thomas Newman
Song that makes you want to dance:	Coheed and Cambria- Devil In Jersey City
Song that makes you want to close your ears:	Anything by Ludacris
Song that makes you think of that special someone:	The Wannadies- The You and Me song
Song that makes you feel relaxed:	Elliot Smith- Angeles
Song that makes you feel inspired:	From Autumn to Ashes- too bad you are beautiful
Song that makes you want to sing along::	Evanescence-My immortal

Song That Makes You... brought to you by BZOINK!

quiz mania

Mon, 20 Oct 2003 17:18:28 GMT

What Type of Sexy Are You? (with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

You are Form 9, Vampire: The Undying.

"And The Vampire was all that remained on
the blood drowned creation. She attempted to
regrow life from the dead. But as she was
about to give the breath of life, she was
consumed in the flame of The Phoenix and the
cycle began again."

Some examples of the Vampire Form are Hades (Greek)
and Isis (Egyptian).
The Vampire is associated with the concept of
death, the number 9, and the element of fire.
Her sign is the eclipsed moon.

As a member of Form 9, you are a very realistic
individual. You may be a little idealistic,
but you are very grounded and down to earth.
You realize that not everything lasts, but you
savor every minute of the good times. While
you may sometimes find yourself lonely, you
have strong ties with people that will never be
broken. Vampires are the best friends to have
because they are sensible.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Tomboy

What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla

always with the sameness

Mon, 20 Oct 2003 16:26:54 GMT

I had a test in Psych.2, and Western Civ. today. So, of course i didn't study over the weekend. When we got out of Childbirth early(which we always do and i expected it), i totally crammed crammed for the Psych 2 test, only to find that she moved it to next class. Good and bad. I have another test that day as well. So, after not having class at all I crammed crammed for the Western Civ. test, took it, rocked its world, and now im here. Waiting for my next class which i know for a fact will release early. Its so funny because mostly everytime i have school i either have a test, or simple lecture where i get out early. Probably a big reason im staying at this school another year..it doesn't require that much effort, and isn't costly.

Started my diet this morning, woke up, took the vitamins, drank a glass of grapefruit juice to speed up the ole metabolism, and ive been sipping on fitness water all day. Im thinking maybe i'll grab a box of some sort of diet bar while at wal-mart so i can maintain myself. Im not sure about the exercising and how it will go, but the diet is in full swing. mhm. Not having to work helps a bunch since, when at work..im surrounded by food. haha.

This old lady,roughly 65, complimented me today. She said "you are always so darn cute". It made me feel good because most older people have a huge problem with my sense of fashion. Even my parents have closed minds about the difference between normal, and eccentric, and yadda yadda. Its not really a big deal, it was just nice. It reminded me of how my grandfather told me at Easter, that he was oh so proud of individualism, and how im not afraid of who i am. *sigh*

Im ready for school to end, so i can run errands, and get this day really started.

she's got her killen shoes on..

Mon, 20 Oct 2003 14:11:51 GMT

So, yes, since Thursday things have been rather plain, but rather pleasant. Thursday had fn with the boy. Friday, slept nearly half the day, then did some sewing, then work. After work i went to mutual friends, then stayed at my friend Robyn's till about 5 a.m. where i then made my way home. I was supposed to be staying the night, but i wanted to sleep in my own bed. For some reason, it always just feel so much better to sleep in my own bed.

On Saturday, my parents and inner family circle were In Alabama, so the boy and i lazied around the house all day undisturbed for the most part. It was a good good day.

Sunday, sleep, lazy, then work. haha.

Its Monday morning, and i have 2 test for which i have yet to make a true attempt to study, i did however borrow my mom's western civ. book, and plan on reading some of it before the exam 3rd class. mhm.

Im not sure about what the day really brings today, i just know it will be pleasant. On the way home im getting hair dye for me, and the boy. And im thinking an hour at Wal-mart is advised because im overdue for an oil change *gag*. It will be the first time ive gotten it done BEFORE the date on my sticker. Though the milage is over. Close enough.

The cutest thing... Drew asked me if he could take and pick me up from work on Saturday. I work the 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. shift. So sweet he woke up at 5:45 to pick me up. And he WANTED to do it. SO PERFECT.

I feel pretty today, and i put forth no effort. definately a good thing.

I have old lady sweater on, and its oh so cozy.

I want new stuff.

I got one of my scholarship checks on Saturday, good thing, and i got electronically paid as well. SWEET.

Yestrerday i had a sort of semi-speculative moment. The first since the 2nd of this month. Its was a good thing because it brought about discussions that made me smile, and the thoughtful/thoughtlessness of my motives for question are gone.

A certain young lady, one who has caused heart ache to a few of my very loved friends, made me very angry this weekend. She is Drew's exgirlfriend, and apparantly she wants to be more than that again. That doesn't really bother me because i have complete faith in him, but..um..she came to my work, and put her arms around him right in from of me. A hug is one thing, but she had the whole.."i haven't seen you in years hug" going on. It wouldn't have been a big deal if i didn't know she was only doing it because she knew my eyes were fixated upon her. Not nice at all. I would like to think i could have an adult discussion with her about my feelings towards her actions towards him, but im almost positive if i did that. She make even more of an attempt at him just to piss me off. She's just that kind of awful being. *sigh* If all else fails i'll just end up ripping her hair out and putting her in icu. She's in need of a freaking beating for what she did to my Crys anyways. the bitch. *hate*

I need to shave..but im lazy..thank goodness for nicely animated hosiery. umph

Sun, 19 Oct 2003 20:21:12 GMT

What's Your Wedding Style?
brought to you by Quizilla

Thu, 16 Oct 2003 05:29:02 GMT

I found this on Katrina's journal, and i was bored..so ..yeah..

Current...
dress: Black Silk Wide legs, so comfy, Homemade Pandaxcore baseball tee with purple sleeves
make-up: day old blue glittery eyeliner, and probably some shimmer dust
mood: peaceful, worried, tired
taste: heath bar cake
hair: tossed around, like always..
annoyance: my siblings friends, and their seriously silly behavior
smell: adidas moves and krystals
longing: that touch..
thing I ought to be doing: studying/sleeping/preparing myself for the great day ahead tomorrow
desktop picture: special background made by britton
book: I'm actually rereading a book on wicca, as well as an assignment book. His Needs Her needs. Its for Marriage and Family.
CD in stereo: The New A Perfect Circle
color of toenails: Sparkly Black, the same as always
refreshment: Apple Juice
worry: If tomorrow will actually go as planned
LAST PERSON...
You Touched? My little sister
You talked to? Drew, on el aim
You hugged? Drew
You instant messaged? yes, drewface
You kissed? Drew
You yelled at? this moron from work, slow, and dumb..not a good combination
Who broke your heart? Im not even sure if my hearts been broken, but the last person that hurt me, was a friend named jade. I hated getting insulted behind closed doors, and then hearing such nice things to my face. Not good at all.
FAVORITE...
Food: totally chinese
Drink: hrm, im down with the real fruit juice yo.
Color: black, purple
Album: Thats a toughy, One True Thing
Shoes: Camo RocketDogs, so so hot.
Candy: Skor bars
Animals: Our 2 geckos, and iguana, and bunny. I really like the bunny, his name is Skylar.
TV Show: Anything Adult Swim, probably Home Movies
Movie: Donnie Darko, Amelie, Cecil B. Demented, Secretary, SLC PUNK, Pretty in Pink, The Breakfast Club, Bubble Boy.....the list never ends..
Dance:um, the mosh..huh huh
Song:totally can't answer that question.
Vegetable: Green BEANS!, or olives, green and black.
Fruit: kiwi, strawberries..

Wed, 15 Oct 2003 18:51:01 GMT

<td bgcolor="#000000">Your Name</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Astrological Sign</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Angel Type</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">Angel of Inspiration</td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Wing Color</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">Black with red tips</td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Heavenly Weapon</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">Flaming sword</td></tr>

Afterlife as an Angel by childdoll

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

my body aches to breathe your breath..your words keep me alive...

Wed, 15 Oct 2003 14:26:18 GMT

I'm totally crushing.. on these new shoes that rocketdog has. *swoon*

This morning i was late for class, and i knew i would be but my teacher never cares for some reason. It was for a good cause. I stopped by to give Drew morning hug, in hopes his day will go smoothly having been given my best wishes. I also had to warn him of the chill so he'll dress accordingly and all that jazz.

First class went great, lecture, as will next class, and the next be. Mostly all my classes, are lecture/survey classes, a.k.a. listen and take a bunch of notes. But hey, by the end of the semester, my handwriting will probably have improved 110 percent. w00t w00t.

Drew and i have a to do list for thursday since he doesn't have school, and neither do i. so silly. First thing on the list.Nap. Its so funny to me the way we are. His brother kind of poked a little fun at him because we are so lame. We always watch movies, take naps, and go to the book store. I completely love the book store. and coffee.

Did i mention im going on a diet, so noone and i mean noone mention and good resturaunts, or foods i could possibly get my hands on. GOT IT?!?!

Texas Chainsaw Massacre is Friday. Sad that im broke, probably end up going to see it next Thursday seeing as I get paid on Tuesday. But wait..POPCORN. haha

My next class had Plastic Glasses Ben, so cute! hah.

I read one of my old journal's last night and it had a huge lists of things that bug me. I found this amusing

#10) Jerry Garcia

haha.
okay..this entry really didn't serve much of a purpose, but do any of them?

p.s. I WANNA ROCK!!!! <3<3<3

i'd slice the throats of children...

Mon, 13 Oct 2003 14:10:22 GMT

This morning on my way to school, half way actually, the batteries on my c.d. player went dead. I lost the adapter, therefore i had to listen to radio. They were playing Twistid Sister. Could my morning get any better?

I went to the gas station to get new batteries and soda, just so class would go oh so smoothly.(Yes, im drinking carbonation again, so what?!?) Got the batteries, and accidentally got the 1 liter, now i have soda for days.

Had my c.d. player in class, i bring the headphones so i can be the cool kid on campus who talks to noone, and wanders around aimlessly, causing so much question in everyones head. In class it was playing because i accidentally hit it. Everyone wants to know where the noise is, i..so boldly forget, and act like i haven't a clue.

To sum it up, thus far its been a very plainly put, clumsy, and silly day. Im glad. I like silly days.

We got out of class early and that rocked my world, probably be happening like that all day. SWEET!

Not having class on Tuesday, and Thursday is so wierd. I have nothing to do, but i still pretend to have class, and leave at the same time. haha. Then i just find random places to go and spend a good 2 hours. I think tomorrow will be thrift store day. Though i have no money, i can make a few bucks im sure. haha.

This morning i noticed the strange shade of gray in the sky. Like it wants to get cloudy but can't. Like it wants to look dreary but it can't. Like it can't make up its mind whether its going to be nice, or dark today. (the good thing about living in the south, and in this part of town, is that i know its not just the smog teehee.) Believe me, i would kill for city smog.

We had a discussion about divorce in childbirth and development earlier. I completely blew everyone away with my opinions on divorce. haha. Its sounds strange i know, but everyone just kept blah blah blahing about how horribly it affects middle childhood kids, and about how noone realizes the affects it has on them. And one woman even made the most asinine commment about how even if a marriage is awful, or even if a husband is abusive, or the other way around, that a couple should stay together..just for the kids. Thats like saying even if a dog bites your leg off, keep it for the sake of making everyone feel better. You can't base your decisions on everything around you, you have to do whats right for you no matter if children are involved. I wouldn't ridiculously let someone beat the shit out of me, just so my kids feel like they have a family im sorry. I just made a big speech about how my parents divorced when i was 9, and how positive it has changed me. Im a better person, having not known my mother that well. Knowing her now, and not allowing it to have an affect on me, is something i am so thankful for.

Whoah, long entry madness

I took off for halloween. Im thinking me, drew, new orleans, mmmmmmm.

I'm off work today, this is a good thing.

Its time for class again...

XoXo

thats right

Sun, 12 Oct 2003 21:33:33 GMT

You are that Guy. You're that guy that says mean
stuff. You have arrows coming out of your
mouth. HAHAHA. You make me laugh the hardest.
You rock.

Which Teen Girls Squad Member are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
MUHAHAHA

happyxcore

Sat, 11 Oct 2003 19:29:43 GMT

So, lets see, i worked last night from 4 till about 10:30. I got free passes to the fair from a customer who said i was oh so pleasant. Made plans to do that. Didn't do that. I knew Drew wouldn't want to go, because he, just like me, is very not into lots of people most of the time. So, we just went over to hang out with our mutual friends. I was pretty glad they are low enough on funds that they didn't have drugs, because i have a problem with turning it down, but, i knew i needed to take a break from it. GOOD GOOD. Im glad that i get like that. I would hate to be like some that i know that feel like its obligatory to be fucked up every hour of every day. Thats just not living. I know it sounds so cliche for me to say its only recreation for me, but thats the truth, i hardly ever do that much, or not often either. Not that im trying to justify what i do, besides who would i be making that justification to? haha. (ramble)

So, we hung out and came home around 2:30, as we would have if we had actually gone to the fair.

Now im about to go watch Haggard with him. He hasn't seen all of it i don't think, which is good. I love watching movies that ive seen with people, and watching their reactions/ thoughts on the film come out. Im such a movie guru, thats a big deal to me.

I have been racking my brain on christmas ideas, and things of that nature. I don't have that many people to buy gifts for, but the ones i do want to get things are all those people that are horribly hard to shop for. bah. I don't know where to begin. I need to start saving now. mhm

The other day Drew told me that the way i dress is part of the reason he's so into me. He said sometimes he wishes i would dress him. *swoons over her boy who wants to be dressed*. I know that sounds so silly, but the passion i have for dress, and stuff, oh man, it is almost like an artist with an open canvas. Perhaps i'll get him clothes for presents..mhm..

I wish wish wish i didn't have to watch network television. This movie, Delerious, with john candy is on. And its taunting me. I know its horrible, but for some strange reason, i can't seem to stop watching it. Oh that reminds me. Texas Chainsaw Massacre 7 days!

End

Sat, 11 Oct 2003 18:45:22 GMT

you're velvet goldmine. you're sparkly and beautiful, and possibly from another world.

take the which prettie movie are you? quiz, a product of the slinkstercool community.

why is your life a joke?

Wed, 08 Oct 2003 15:39:14 GMT

So, woke up on my own, which i love to do, because for some odd reason though i need to be awakened i hate for someone to wake me. mhm.

Got a shower last night so, had more time to get ready. Actually got semi-dressed and the such.

It was cold enough to wear one of my hot hot coats, YES!

Going to get chewed out this afternoon because of calling in on sunday. that means i better be properly dressed, and in a pleasant mood, or she'll have it in for me. haha.

Went to see drew before school, just for a hello, had to, can't not see him at least for a moment. I went last night after work as well, because i hadn't seen him for almost a day.

Today has been, and im sure will continue to be pleasant, yesterday was as well.

I hope i hope this weekend brings something intense, and amazing. I get so sick of the same old thing.

inside and out..

Tue, 07 Oct 2003 17:42:21 GMT

....you make me feel love love love

like a proud shooting star..

Mon, 06 Oct 2003 04:53:02 GMT

So, this morning i awoke around 10. I went to Drew's around noon i'd like to say. Didn't do much of anything really, we went and ate chips and cheese since we are oh so junkies. Then we went to "big lots", and searched for quite a few things, though we found a little bit of junk. I got a purple sparkly boa. *growl*, and then we bought 2 movies. Which we also watch all of one, and i believe a good bit of the other.

a) Sunset Strip, good good Jared Leto is dingy

b)Slacker, very serious, yet random, and very wierd, thats the one we didn't finish. It was basically a bunch of people spouting random theories about government and all these strange views about things, that and some crazy people. it was wierd to say that least..

Then went to the mall, drew is out of incense, can't have that, that stuff is part of his smell.

We also ate again at some point, you know lunch and dinner. And rode on a few deliveries with my friend Robyn who works at a local pizza joint. very ..uh..time consuming..shes a nice girl. Its rare i hang out with anyone but him so it was nice. Not that being with him..is a bad thing <3

Then i got to see the new Aqua Teen, as well as The Brak Show, so funny. I absolutely adore adult swim.

We did take a few pictures, but not the ones you guys were hoping for. We'll get them up none the less. Honest.

Im so ready to rock schools world tomorrow.

Still a happy camper..

Mom just woke up and said my typing was the cause, man..i must type pretty loud, uh oh.

and then there was light

Sun, 05 Oct 2003 09:22:33 GMT

Alright, so last night i stayed the night at my friends, as i usually do on the weekend, good friends, good times. Drew stayed as well, which was also a very pleasant thing. Then, after we awoke, we had lunch in the park, and took a nap before i had to be at work. haha. I was actually late, though it was my own doing, i told them it was drew's fault at work. hah. I worked all night, it was a long night, and so tiring. Tomorrow im going to try and wake up, semi-early, and takes some pictures, and perhaps eat in the park again with my boy.

This week went by fast..

Next week may as well..

I <3 monday because its my day off..

I think im going to the fair that day..

I think im delirious..

Im going to bed

holy CRAP!

Fri, 03 Oct 2003 18:39:28 GMT

"Onetruepanda"

Onetruepanda, played by Jodie Foster, is recruited to a high-paying job at a company with a shady background. She seeks guidance from her mentor Roxanne (Courtney Cox). Over the radio, she hears the voice of Vanness (Kevin Costner), and she falls in love. Vanness dies of cancer, and the doctor, Billy (Mark Wahlberg), helps Onetruepanda get over the pain.

What's your journal's Hollywood blockbuster?
Created by chickenbarbecue

First i've got Robin hood, then..i get marky mark. Man i'm all about the old days huh?

Anywho, today i slept till one which is good because in the two days before this i have gotten about a total of 2 hours of sleep, no naps or anything. Then i cleaned my room, and now im about to scarf some lovely food. then its off to work, and then..of course, hanging with drew and the gang. Tonight seems very promising, in fact so does this whole weekend. mhm. I feel great even though i had to take a *gasp* bath. Our shower isn't working at this moment. NOO GOOD.

I have the most perfect song stuck in my head, and its playing over and over..i <3 my head mixin system right now.

I hope my paycheck is as good as i expect it to be so i can pay all the bills..and have extra since im a stuff whore, and i need to go shopping. hah

oh man

Thu, 02 Oct 2003 17:45:35 GMT

Authority figures get pretty ridiculous with their views on the amount of power they think they have and how much they really have. Authority Figures are gay. I went to take Drew lunch today, and um..yeah..gay. I walked him to class after he ate it and um.. he hugged me, and he probably got detention for it. Poor child. the teacher thought i was being a smartass when he asked me "what grade are you in", and i simply said "im not in a grade sir, i do not attend this school, though i did graduate from it"..then he says.."um..what grade are you in.".."im not in a grade sir..".."come with my"..then the authority figures commenced to blah blah blahing. Now they say im not allowed to bring the most important person in my life food when he is starving like a poor baby. They can also watch me bend over while they kiss my ass. that is all. Still a great day, just a very stupid, and meaningless, event that made it all the more interesting.